I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
