i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
