no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
