I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
