i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
