Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
