Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We don't watch enough power rangers
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize