its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
