i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
