What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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