I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
