dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
