OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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