i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That's intense
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
