Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
