I'm so fucking centered right now
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
