Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
