he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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