I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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