Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am available for nakedness
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
