Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
