My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
