yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
