Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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