So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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