He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
