would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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