If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
