I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
