Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize