We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
