took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
