my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
