You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
