I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
