how do flat chested girls get laid?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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