True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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