I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
