Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
