i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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