I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I came so hard my ears popped.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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