sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
where are my eyebrows?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
