Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
