Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
why is half of my head shaved?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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