If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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