Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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