I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
