That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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