wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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