Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
