Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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