I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
