So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
