I'm gonna have a badass scar
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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