u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
