I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
where are my eyebrows?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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