We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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