i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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