you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize