I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
