Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
