i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
