I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Randomize
